What if...What if...What if...I cover this a lot in my book.
The WHAT IFs can be a very time consuming and brain wracking thing. It goes straight back to not living for today. Worrying about the things you can't change. Again, I address that in my book The Self Help Book for People Who Hate Self Help Books.
(From Chapter 2)
We as human beings being human always wonder what
if? What if I had gone to college? What
if I hadn't gone to college? What if I
had married my High School sweetheart? What if I HADN’T married my High School
Sweetheart? What if this, what if
that? Truth is, there are no right
answers, and second guessing yourself at every turn serves no purpose. It leads to self-doubt and lack of true
happiness.
True happiness is the realization that life happens
every day and you have the choice to be part of it, or to sit on the sidelines
watching it, afraid to take part because the outcome is uncertain. You have no doubt heard the old saying, “The
only certainty in life is death and taxes”.
(And, of course the certainty that unless you live under a rock, everything
you say and do ends up online somewhere. Again, I will discuss this later,
because it is a powerful influence on how we do things). I do car sales right now in my life. It is a
commission only business. I am always
under the gun to hit quota, make as much as I can this month because you never
know what will happen next month. It is
not for the weak of heart and spirit. Scared the heck out of me when I
started. Today I may be sweating how the
mortgage is going to be paid because I didn't sell anything and in less than 24
hours I may have made enough to pay 4 months ahead. Another movie reference comes to mind. (And I
will use a LOT of them throughout this book). Tom Hanks in the movie Cast Away was able to get off the island because the storm provided
half a porta potty that he then used as
a sail for his raft. Once back in civilization again, he took on a whole new
view of life. He took some chances
because on any given day “You never know
what the tide will bring in... I guess you need to just step out of the
comfort zone and set your focus on letting things happen the way they are
supposed to and let go of micro-managing every single tiny thing in your life.
See what the tide will bring in. There are times you just need to not give a
damn.
It is entirely okay to think about the future and make plans, but do not obsess about outcomes. The sooner one learns to let go of outcomes, the better off your stress level becomes. Lower stress leads to better health.
For instance, the current social environment is full of what if moments. What if I get Covid? What If I get the vaccine? What if I don't? What if I have a reaction? What if I don't have a reaction. It is really truly enough to make you crazy, and make you sick. The FIRST thing is to try to not change someone else's outcome. If, for instance, you have an strong opinion about something, let's say getting a flu shot, and you believe fully in doing that, and have a friend who is against it, trying to force them into your way of thinking is usually futile. What if I don't get the shot and get the flu? The other side of it is what if you don't get the shot and don't get the flu?
Life is a crap shoot. A hand of Poker, one hit at the blackjack table... what if I hit on 15 and bust. What if I hit on 15 and get a 6? What if I hold and the dealer has 14 and busts? The casino is the center of the universe for What IFs! You can what if you entire life savings into oblivion if you are not careful.
Bottom Line...Don't worry about outcomes. Just make decisions on the facts you have in front of you and take your best guess, because really, life is just a series of best guesses.
For more, check out my book! Available on:
AMAZON and NOOK, iBOOKS and others
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