Pick your Battles

 Hey everyone. It's been a month since my last blog, dealing with back some issues that are being fixed, and redesigning my office.

I always cruise through various online sites and blogs and social platforms, and take in both side of everything out there, trying to remain as neutral as possible, which is hard sometimes. I try to practice what I preach. Occasionally, though, something will trip my trigger and I will rant or repost. Hey, we are all human beings being human right? 

There is so much finger pointing  and "I'm right, you're wrong" going on that it is hard to tell who the players are and what the end game is.  I will comment on things, trying to be neutral, although, as I said, it is difficult.  I see pages on all kinds of social media sights where it is extreme one way or another. We have forgotten that a middle ground exists, and right now that middle ground is a deserted landscape where no one wants to go.  It has become an us against them society and we have to deal with it every day, and we all have opinions. 

The point is there is all this input and no outlet. I talk to people that say they feel trapped because they feel as though they can not talk to people about anything (even the weather) without getting into a political battle. This is not good for the mind or the body. Isolation from everyday life is a terrible thing. Fear of communication is a terrible thing. So, here is what I do...

I pick my battles. I talk to people, and if it gets to a point of discomfort, I end the conversation. "I really don't think I want to talk about this further."  The other person can accept it, or reject it. If they insist on drumming on, I will say, "thanks" and get up and walk away. Sometimes the other person will call me names, say that I am scared to face the facts (their version of the facts) and so on. Remember, What you think of me is none of my business. It goes back to the North and Southbound roads. Maintain your direction if that is where your are going. 

When you pick your battles, avoid statement like you should, you have to, I know, you're wrong, I'm right, I did it so you should too, THEY SAY, now listen....you get it. 

I capitalized THEY SAY because 80% of information we think we know comes from THEM. If someone says "They say," stop them and ask them who they is. You will probably get and answer like "The experts."  

Remember the scene in Indiana Jones when Indy asked who was studying the Arc? THEY answered "Top Men." We come to find out that it was boxed up and put in a huge storage house, probably in area 51!! Same thing. "The Experts" refers to I have no idea what I am talking about.

You have to realize that there are people who research and people who just get input. Quit watching the news. That is my first piece of advise. Network and cable news shows are the worst for mucking up the waters. One says this is what's going on while the other channel has the exact opposite happening. There are many trusted sources online no matter which side you are on. It's up to you to sift through and find what you think is right. It's a tricky balancing act.  

Try to be Zen and be an observer of the things going on around you. Don't judge, but glean the positive things from all you observe and put them in your to review mental file. Remember, not all is right or wrong. It is all Here and Now. How WE run with it is up to us. 

Summer reading list should include The Self Help Book for People Who Hate Self Help Books

Available on Amazon and other E-reader platforms

Amazon            Nook, Ibooks and more

Have a GREAT day. 

How Important Is It?

 We all get stressed over all kinds of stuff.  Getting stressed or angry over things that you think affect your life, whether they do or not, is a waste of time and energy. 

It goes back to not letting stuff rent space in your brain. When something gets you to the point of boiling over, or your head exploding, 💥 you have to ask one simple question to put it all in perspective.  How Important is IT?  Trust me, a lot of the stuff that gets you to that point is never as bad as you think it is. 

Perception is important.  If you perceive something to be terrible, or give it the importance to ruin your day or your week, IT WILL.  Asking How Important is It gives the you a chance to rate the problem.

Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 with one being not terribly bothersome  to 10 being  If I don't do something about this someone could get hurt... 

An example of a "1" would be when you get your favorite coffee from take out and they get the order wrong.  Now, you can go in and make an ass out of yourself yelling a screaming, and accomplish nothing,  OR you can ask, How Important is It? Drink it the way it is and go on with your day.  Or, go back in and politely inform them that they got you order wrong. They will take care of it with a smile most of the time, and everyone is a winner. DON'T CALL 911. (Trust me...it happens). 

I used to close my morning radio show with the phrase "Don't sweat the small stuff, It's all small stuff..."  It's true. No matter how insurmountable something seems, there is always an answer. Sometimes the answer may not be the answer YOU had in mind, but there is ALWAYS an answer. That which does not kill me makes me stronger." --Friedrich Nietzsche

Always score stuff on How Important is it?  It puts a lot of things into proper perspective. Any artist will tell you, If the perspective is off, even just a little it throws the whole painting out of whack, The same goes for every day "problems".

The more ZEN you can be about things, the better off you are. Call it self control, internal anger management, or just letting go and letting God. Much of what happens with us is by divine plan. It has nothing to do with religion, the divine plan is what the universe has already put into play.  I does not mean to throw your hands up and just let it happen. The divine always needs help and effort. The divine does not write anything in stone. It is always changing. Like the stock market. Some days are better than others. It's like surfing. Ride the wave. If you fall, another wave will be along.  It's all part of the plan. The eternal now. Stay in the present. 

Check out my book. The Self Help Book for People Who Hate Self Help Books.

              AMAZON                       NOOK, iBOOKS and the rest

Happy Father's day

It's that time of year again.  Happy Father's day to all the Dads out there. 

I think I mentioned last year that I am lucky enough to have 2 Dads.  My Dad, and my Stepfather.  Both of them amazing men who did a great job raising me. I am grateful to them every day. 

Sometimes we take Dad for granted, knowing they have always been there for us, and then suddenly something happens. You get that phone call that there is a medical "procedure" that needs to be done, and though it's not anything "serious" it's still an indication that everyone get older every year. My step dad just had some back issues that have effected his mobility. Not a huge thing, but still, a reminder that he is not getting any younger. He is 85.  To me he is still, you know, in his 40s. 

I think we have a hard time dealing with parents getting older.  It also reminds us that we are driving down that road as well, and putting some miles behind us all the time.  

For some reason, Father's day get a second tier rating.  It's never as big a deal as Mother's day, which is a huge card and flower day. Fathers day is more of a hardware store event.  Dad would much prefer a power tool to a bunch of roses and candy.

I have a Son who is going to come hang with me on Sunday. He and my wife, (His Stepmom) and I will go up the mountain for a picnic. It will be a great day.  The nice thing is, he loves to spend time with us, and it's always great to see him.  

Not to dwell, but it is also the day I lost my oldest son.  So Father's day is always a bit hard for me.  We will take a moment on the mountain to say a prayer. 

Bottom line is this...No matter what your situation, let your Dad know that you love him.  Because he is here today. He may not be there tomorrow.  If Dad has already passed on, say a prayer and talk to him. He will hear you. 

Have a great day!!

Sometimes You are just at a loss...What to do, What to do?

We start everything with good intentions.  We go to the gym every other day for a month, then by month three we are going only when we feel guilty about not going.  We give up bad eating for a month until we lose that 5 pounds and then it's back to the Snickkerdoodles and Lattes. 

It's the same with a blog. You go into it and say, I will write every day or every other day. Something deep and meaningful.  But alas, it is not that easy... especially when you see so much crap out there, and you try to avoid being part of that big old river of crap.  That is why I felt I needed to write something today.  The problem being, I don't  really have anything to touch upon. I don't want to get involved in writing about politics, because it does not matter what side you are on, whatever you express is going to draw negative energy from one side or another. You can't win. So I chose to keep that energy out of my life. 

I don't talk religion, because that melting pot is dangerous ground as well. You get labeled as racist, which makes no sense at all, because religion is not race. 

You can't talk about crime because again, even if the facts point to a certain race or gender, you are racist. 

You can't talk about lifestyle (or life choice / gender identity) because then you are labeled "something or other phobic." 

Personally I don't care if you agree with anything I ever say or not. You are entitled to your thoughts as I should be to mine.  But, If one expresses an opinion that is different from yours, blasting a blogger with hate comments serves no purpose. Instead of spewing hate in one line comments, why not start a blog of your own and spell out your concerns. Ahhh, the problem there is you don't want to get the hate comments either. It's a vicious circle which is why I don't write too much anymore.  

Granted, I don't get a lot of hate comments, because I try to keep my blog's topics along the lines of interesting stuff rather than op-eds. 

I draw my observations on reading other people's blogs and seeing some of the comments.  It's terrible and disrespectful. I am sure if some of these people met these bloggers face to face that they would not dare to actually say some of the things they say in the anonymous world of the internet. 

So, I suppose I will limit this blog to Music industry advise, and the occasional life experience.   (Oh, and since I sell Kia, I will answer any questions you have about these wonderful vehicles).

A revamp is in order, and I am going to take a little time to figure this out. 

In the meantime. Be nice. 

Have a great day!

No B Side

As an observer of all things going on around me, it appears that the media has lost the fact there there is a B side to all that is going on in the world right now. 

Let me clarify. "B Side" is a music industry term that originates from when record labels release 45s. One song on each side. and A side (Which was supposed to be the hit song) and a B side which featured another song on the album that was good but not being considered as an A side single.  So, you played the A side song and the B side may NEVER get heard. 

Funny thing, though, sometimes people want to know what's on the B side. And occasionally, a B side song is a hit.  Maybe a DJ at a radio station played it by mistake. It's happened many time in the course of music history. Google "B SIDE HITS" and you will be surprised at what songs charted that were never supposed to be hits.  
Now, in the world of CDs and MP3, and streaming services, the B side is not a factor anymore and we now hear the Chart Cut and it's all we ever hear. (Listen to XM radio and tell me what the repeat rotation is) I was a radio DJ for many years. My luck was that they never made me follow the national rotation, and I was allowed to play what I wanted.  So, I mixed it up a lot and played songs that you didn't hear a lot, but everyone remembered. The songs you don't hear anymore."

I have a point to all this. Really.  It has to do with the news media. 

We are in a time of great division. It is not the first time, and it will not be the last time.  I don't choose sides, I observe what I perceive to be only A Side information.  All the media seems to thrive on is the anger and the negative energy that is spewed forth by people who don't or won't accept the current world and political situation. 
You see riots, and angry mobs, celebs who think they have the voice and ear of the people. And it's only so because the news media shoves it into your face and surrounds you with this hate and anger. All for ratings.  Bear with me. If  you are watching the news and there is rioting in the streets, and cars being set on fire, and you switch to the other news channel and see some warm and fuzzy story about happy people doing good things, do you shake your head and go back to the riots and anger because it's "more interesting?"  It's like listening to the first 10 seconds of a B side single and deciding that the A side song is better because that's what the record company has chosen to give you. It's what the networks chose to broadcast because they know that you will watch. 

I want to see the B side to all this hate and discontent. Show me the good. There is good in everything. It's the Yin and the Yang. You can not have one without the other.  Problem is, we are only looking at the Yang. We need a little more Yin I think.

I used to counsel teens. At the beginning of a group session, which I KNEW was going to be all about bitching about their parents and their life, as teens are prone to, I would go around the room and tell them to give me a HAPPY before we started. It had to be thought out . Not "I'm happy to be here...or I'm happy the 49ers won the Superbowl. (It was a long time ago) It had to be a genuine, happy feeling. It was hard for them. They were so programmed to be negative that it was beyond them to think that they had anything at all going for them. But.. they managed in the end to come up with something thought provoking. 

We have a higher power of some sort watching over us. I believe that.  Sometimes we just need to turn off the constant A side and flip to the B side and see what is there. It might be a better song. 

Have a great day.

I Have had to take a step back

I know it's been a couple of weeks since I have posted.  With all that is going on right now, new President, people happy about it, people not happy about it, people acting like total asses as well as those making their voice heard, using their first amendment rights the right way, I thought I would just sit back and take it all in.  I have been loath to write, because I don't like to get involved in politics in my blog if I can help it.  That being said, let me express my concern with people who take an event like the inauguration of our President, (like him or not) and make it an excuse for senseless violence. We the people have the right to protest. It's a right given by our forefathers. It's a wonderful thing. BUT, if you are going to throw bricks through windows of a business whose only fault is that the building is in firing range, then you have no right to bitch when you are arrested and charged with rioting and vandalism. You should go to jail. Do not pass go! You are a punk.

There is talk of paid protestors, other countries promoting this kind of thing and celebs cheering it all on.  I never thought in my life that I would agree with Michael Moore, but his statement rings true. If you want change, run for office. Start with your school board or City Council. Run for Congress or Senate, because it's not the other guy's responsibility to make the changes that you are passionate enough about to throw bricks through someone's business and drive up the cost of their goods.  If you want change, get off your ass and make your voice heard through the right channels. Calmly and purposefully. Violence leads to fear...fear leads to hate, and hate leads to the dark side of the force.  Peaceful protest will make your thoughts known. All for that! They will bring to the forefront all you are passionate about.  Change starts with you. Raise YOUR head above the crowd. Don't think you can? What makes anyone in office different than you? Maybe THEY decided that they wanted to be the voice in the crowd that was heard.  Love Trump or hate him.  He made his voice heard. He told people what he was passionate about. God bless him for being that person.  

So, these are my thoughts watching the events of the last few days.  I don't choose sides, I am not worried about what MIGHT happen....Only what is today. 

Have a great day!

I Think (Part 3)

I THINK:

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

Politicians and diapers should be both be changed regularly...all for the same reason

Light travels faster than sound.  That is why some people seem bright until they open their mouth

The shinbone's purpose is to find furniture in the dark

God mus LOVE stupid people, or he wouldn't have made so many

Some people say 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em'  I say ' If you can't beat 'em, beat 'em, cause they will be expecting you to join them and you have the element of surprise....'

War does not determine who is right, only who is left

We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control

Laugh at your problems....everyone else does

I did not fight my way to the top of the food chain to eat tofu

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but a whole box can't start a campfire.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

Have a great day

Don't Worry..You are not in control of anything..........

Each day the human mind spends over 70% of it's time over thinking and worrying.  That's a hell of a lot of time thinking about stuff that has not happened yet. 

Worry is one of the strongest "fear" emotions we have. We lose sleep, we have night sweats, we tend to think in worst case scenarios.  And it can drive us to the nut house in a hurry.  

The thing is, though, that if you look back on all the time you spent worrying about stuff, and the eventuality that the stuff you worried about never happened, what would you do with all that time that you wasted letting your brain take you hostage?  If the 70% number is true, then you spend 265 days a year worrying about stuff.  Over, say an 80 year life span, that 20,440 days, or 490,560 hours where you could be using your brain for something else. 

Life is short. We have no time for herding cats.  

The purpose of life is to be happy- Dalai Lama

We live in a world where the media works very hard to instill fear in us. Turn on the news and tell me how many happy stories do you hear in an hour?  Don't get me wrong, the world is not what it used to be. We have threats everywhere. We always have, but now we have a media that can bring it to us in real time in 4K high Def.  Our serenity is being attacked on all fronts. Here are some ways to deal with all this. 


Meditate. Get into being one with your consciousness.  Sit quietly and put processed thoughts out of your head. Concentrate of the sounds around you. The wind, the rain, the sound of the fly in the room. Live in the experience of now. Don't let the outside world allow your mind to wander.  If you hear a plane, or a fire truck, or a dog barking in the distance, just accept it as what is instead of letting your mind go somewhere else.  15 minutes a day. Not easy, but with practice, you can get it.

Don't watch the news for long periods. .... We all need to know what is going on, but don't leave the news on in the background all day while you are pottering around the house.  Watch the headlines, and get on with your day. Half the time, the news just pisses you off anyway, then you have to deal with anger too. 

Stay off facebook for a day every week. OR set a no information time.  Turn off from social media. Give it a rest. The world will continue to turn if you wait a day to like someone's post.

Sometimes, leave your phone at home.  Before cell phones, we went along our merry way, and when we got home, we had an answering machine.  We dealt with stuff then. As a result we saw more of the world around us.

Watch cartoons. No, seriously.  Who can have a shitty day after watching Bugs, or Daffy, or the Flintstones....Great old cartoons are a way to get back to a simpler time.  It really does take your mind off stuff. I believe if more adults watched cartoons once in a while, the world would be a better place. 

Go for a walk. See the world around you. (A good time to keep your phone at home) It's a beautiful place, remember?

And last but not least,  Don't worry..You are not in control of anything. 

Merry Christmas

TO GROUP OR NOT TO GROUP...LEAVE ME OUTTA THIS

With the advent of modern technology, the chain letter was replaced by the chain email which was replaced with the chain Facebook post which has been replaced by the chain text. 

You know, the text where you are included with 65 other people wanting to have you reply or comment to everything from Boxer or Briefs, to political views, to saying Amen, Drinks at Bob's who's in?.... to countless situations...about this time of year you will be getting group texts about Cornbread or Rye Bread Stuffing...Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays...Turkey or Tofu...So and So is having a party, rsvp...yadda yadda yadda...

Point is, I don't mind getting a text from anyone about anything. My phone pings and I look at it, and at that point decide to respond or ignore.  My bug bear is when I have to listen to my phone ping half a dozen times in a 2 minute period because everyone else is responding to the sender, and being part of the group, it is assumed that I give a crap about what everyone else thinks.  "Text me back or you are not my friend..."  What is this? Third grade?  Here's a thought....Friends don't send friends stupid group texts!" 

So, about now, dear reader, you are saying, just delete it and unjoin the thread.  I have enough threads in my life that I should not HAVE to unjoin something that I did not join in the first place.  There are times that group texts are easier for sharing things. At work, Everyone gets a daily sales report group texted to them. Fine. Necessary and expected. But when someone asked a question on that thread and everyone starts answering it's a pain in the ass. ding...ding...dingdingdingding....

It's part of life, can't be avoided, so, feel free to group text all you want, but don't feel bad if I don't reply. 

While we are on the subject of annoying text messages, What is up with all this invasive advertising on your phone now?  I can't go to Walmart, Home Depot, Bed Bath and Beyond or even McDonalds without my phone pinging, and a text ad saying you are at Walmart...look at these specials...Again, I could shut off my location access but WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO DO THAT??? Any thoughts?  We will address this at another time.

Have a great day.

Wow, we can talk about something else now!

IT's election day! Haleluya! The news cycles will squeeze every drop out of this wet rag. It's all we have heard about every day, all day for 2 years! What will all the news anchors and experts talk about now?  I'll be back after this AD!

How about this?  I work for Kia. Proud to be a multiple Kia owner. This year Kia is coming out with the 2017 Kia Soul TURBO.  That's right. The Hamsters are about to be supercharged. I am sure you have seen the Soul everywhere. They are one of the most popular selling cars in the free world. They are fun to drive, get great milage and are very affordable. But, now, they are going to be a little fire breathing monster. 201 HP out of a 1.6 Litre. Here's the deal, not only TURBO, but also leather, navigation, push-button start, cooled seats, the whole nine yards. 

Remember that Kia also features the 10 year, 100,000 mile drive train warranty and the 5 year 60,000 bumper to bumper PLUS at no added cost, 5year, 60000 mile road side assistance.  Email me for info..cashatkia@centurylink.net

Now back to our show....

I am sure that the end of this election coverage is nowhere in sight. We will go from who will win, to who won and what the hell are we going to do now?  If HE wins, he's not a politician..If SHE wins, she is the ultimate politician....The future of the USA depends on one of these two.  Makes one feel like a long tailed cat in a room full of Rocking Chairs. I guess all one can do it cast your vote and hope for the best. Again, I am not going to tip my hand. I voted for who I thought would be best. But as vile as this election has become, no matter how I voted, the other side will go to lengthy and ugly remarks about why I am an ass****.... That's my whole point, we live in a Democratic Republic where everyone, even you is entitled to vote for who you think is best.....Even if you ARE wrong. 

Have a great day.

I Think (Part 2)

I THINK

What consumes your mind controls your life.

You should stop looking for happiness in the exact place you lost it

It's scary what a smile can hide.

The smarter you get, the less you speak.

The secret of having it all is believing that you already do.

You can still be a good person with a kind heart and still say "no".

You have two ears and one mouth for a reason.

Silence is an answer too.

Falling down is an accident. Staying down is a choice.

When nothing goes right, turn left.

Creativity is intelligence having fun.

Nothing haunts us like what we did NOT say.

The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence. 

Have a Great Day

I Think.......

I Think

There are 2 types of people in the world.  Those who participate, and those who watch.

Drivers who don't use turn signals should be banished forever in a land with nothing but Roundabouts. (look it up)

Stores should not be allowed to sell Christmas stuff until Halloween is over.  

If you can't control your kids in a restaurant that does not have a "kids menu" ... you should get them a happy meal and eat in the car. 

Cats know what we are thinking.....ALWAYS.

If you have a 420 credit score, you should not make that the car salesman's fault. 

There are two seasons in most parts of the county...Winter and Road Construction. 

If you commit to it, DO IT.

Anything that has more legs than me, or no legs and slithers should be avoided at any cost.

Everything in the universe is Energy.

Karma is a Bitch.

Aliens have not revealed themselves on earth because they know the first thing we will do is try to get them to vote.

If you have extra parts after disassembling and reassembling any machine, that you should put them in a drawer. Eventually you will figure out what they are for. Yup, give it time. 

A watched pot never boils, but if you drop your watch in boiling water, it's probably a goner. 

The shortest distance between 2 points is a straight line, unless you have to climb several mountain ranges, in which case, stay home.

Your computer will have an issue when you are on a deadline.

Gun control means you know what you are shooting at.

If you have 4000 friends on facebook, you should know the name of the person who lives next door to you. 

Money is the most renewable resource. 

Ask for it every day and the universe will provide. 

Superman can whip Batman's Butt. 

Every time you touch your smart phone screen, it sucks 1 brain cell out of your head.

If you are going to text me more than 50 words, just call.

Have a wonderful day!