I understand that you are so concerned about me, but...

      I posted something on Facebook recently and was "Put in my place" by people I don't even know. Trolls, maybe. But here is the thing. Why are you, a person who knows nothing about me, so concerned about my opinions, feelings or beliefs.  

     It is almost like you  have a resentment because you have a resentment against me for making you have a resentment against me... filling your mind with shit that isn't any of your business in the first place. It's like a double secret resentment. It's like being mad at me for making you mad at me. It makes no sense.  😕

    Instead of being so concerned about the way other people are, even people you don't know, perhaps one should examine why you are reacting the way they do. Is this a need to try to change someone's way of thinking? Is it misdirected concern that if someone thinks differently than you that their world will come crashing in on them? Or, maybe it is a mechanism to verify to yourself that you are right and they are wrong.  OR maybe is is simply a co-dependent reaction to try to fix people. 

    Co-dependency has many many faces.  YOU are not responsible for making someone happy, or making them think the way you do. No matter how right you may think you are, there are people who will not agree with that, or even will set out to, or worse yet, prove you wrong. There is a lot of that going on in society now. The best you can do is just try to detach yourself from the craziness. The truth is, the masses don't care what you think or post on FB. That goes for me, you, everyone. Not everyone agrees with what I write here. That's ok, I do not care. I am not trying to change anyone's mind. I am just an idea starter. A couple of good ways to take yourself out of the fray: Quit watching the news for a couple of days.  Avoid the temptation to make a snarky comment on FB just to be part of the crowd. I call it HERD ASSHOLISM.  Do research before you start telling people how to be or think. Then don't tell them anything!  Nothing is worse than someone who is uninformed informing you how to be.

Here's an idea, check out my book  The Self Help Book for People Who Hate Self Help Books.

           Amazon                                     NOOK iBooks and the rest

Have a GREAT DAY!

 

I thought I would share Nikki's Blog this week. It's GREAT

http://dflenergyhealer.blogspot.com/2017/07/searching-for-spirit-addiction-energy.html?spref=fb

Please read and share

No B Side

As an observer of all things going on around me, it appears that the media has lost the fact there there is a B side to all that is going on in the world right now. 

Let me clarify. "B Side" is a music industry term that originates from when record labels release 45s. One song on each side. and A side (Which was supposed to be the hit song) and a B side which featured another song on the album that was good but not being considered as an A side single.  So, you played the A side song and the B side may NEVER get heard. 

Funny thing, though, sometimes people want to know what's on the B side. And occasionally, a B side song is a hit.  Maybe a DJ at a radio station played it by mistake. It's happened many time in the course of music history. Google "B SIDE HITS" and you will be surprised at what songs charted that were never supposed to be hits.  
Now, in the world of CDs and MP3, and streaming services, the B side is not a factor anymore and we now hear the Chart Cut and it's all we ever hear. (Listen to XM radio and tell me what the repeat rotation is) I was a radio DJ for many years. My luck was that they never made me follow the national rotation, and I was allowed to play what I wanted.  So, I mixed it up a lot and played songs that you didn't hear a lot, but everyone remembered. The songs you don't hear anymore."

I have a point to all this. Really.  It has to do with the news media. 

We are in a time of great division. It is not the first time, and it will not be the last time.  I don't choose sides, I observe what I perceive to be only A Side information.  All the media seems to thrive on is the anger and the negative energy that is spewed forth by people who don't or won't accept the current world and political situation. 
You see riots, and angry mobs, celebs who think they have the voice and ear of the people. And it's only so because the news media shoves it into your face and surrounds you with this hate and anger. All for ratings.  Bear with me. If  you are watching the news and there is rioting in the streets, and cars being set on fire, and you switch to the other news channel and see some warm and fuzzy story about happy people doing good things, do you shake your head and go back to the riots and anger because it's "more interesting?"  It's like listening to the first 10 seconds of a B side single and deciding that the A side song is better because that's what the record company has chosen to give you. It's what the networks chose to broadcast because they know that you will watch. 

I want to see the B side to all this hate and discontent. Show me the good. There is good in everything. It's the Yin and the Yang. You can not have one without the other.  Problem is, we are only looking at the Yang. We need a little more Yin I think.

I used to counsel teens. At the beginning of a group session, which I KNEW was going to be all about bitching about their parents and their life, as teens are prone to, I would go around the room and tell them to give me a HAPPY before we started. It had to be thought out . Not "I'm happy to be here...or I'm happy the 49ers won the Superbowl. (It was a long time ago) It had to be a genuine, happy feeling. It was hard for them. They were so programmed to be negative that it was beyond them to think that they had anything at all going for them. But.. they managed in the end to come up with something thought provoking. 

We have a higher power of some sort watching over us. I believe that.  Sometimes we just need to turn off the constant A side and flip to the B side and see what is there. It might be a better song. 

Have a great day.

Remember this when you look at ALL YOUR FRIENDS on Facebook...

I am currently writing a book. I have been working on it for quite a long time, because it's the kind of thing you have to write when the mood hits you, and you have a great thread of thought...much like a blog. It's a chance you take that anyone will be interested in what you have to say.  I enjoy writing, and I hope to someday E publish this book. If one person reads it and it helps them, then it was worth taking the time to do. 

The book is called The Self Help Book For People Who Hate Self Help Books (c)2016..... 

I have read a ton of self help books, some great, some not so...but most have one thing in common. They are written by people that have a lot of letters after their names. All good...not dissing anyone. I am writing mine from just years of observation and experience. I would like to share one of the chapters with you here, just because social media is such a thing now. We are get pulled into the Facebook Rabbit Hole. So here we go. This chapter from the book is called: 

But I Have 4627 Friends on Facebook

**********************************

Okay. Take a DEEP breath. All but about 12 of these people are not your friends. Maybe a few more or less. Go through your "Friends" on Face Book and write down the ones you would trust your kids, Dog or Spouse with. Who can you call as a house sitter if you have to go out of town? Yup. Short list. Multiply all this by the number of friends on Twitter, Voxer, Snap Chat Yadda Yadda Yadda and you still end up with about 12. So why are you sharing you most personal stuff with total strangers? And why do they think you really care about what they eat every 42 minutes? It's really gotten out of hand. Okay, so I am an entertainer. I have a couple of Face Book pages. I think I have a total of about 2500 "Friends" between the two pages. I perform and send invites to everyone. I figure asses in seats means ticket sales. But, at lets say, Christmas Time, if I want to send out a personal greeting to people on my pages, there are only MAYBE 30 people that I feel I know well enough to invade their personal space. And some of them are iffy. Don't let the number of "Friends" you have in cyber space lull you into a false sense of being all that. We are really not that important to anyone but ourselves. We measure our success in terms of likes, shares and comments. We have all done it. We have liked some crap on Facebook that we didn't spend more than a 10^th of a second looking at because the person is our “Friend” and we want all his “Friends” to see that I am his “Friend”...What a crock. In the great scheme of things, it's meaningless. There is no personal contact. It's an illusion that we have all these friends that we “Connect” with when we sitting at home in our underwear at 2 AM looking at our Facebook page because we have forgotten how to really communicate.

When something goes wrong and we put it on Facebook or instagram or Twitter, whatever your social media of choice, we get responses of condolence, prayers, advise, whatever from all these people we don't know. But how many of them are responding because they are really praying for you, and how many are just doing it because you had 231 other people do it and they want to feel like they are part of the collective conscience. That's all good and well if they actually say a prayer for you. How many times have YOU said someone was in your prayers and never thought about them again??

As a sales person, I sit and hand write 5 to 10 cards a day to clients that have bought cars from me. People I work with are astounded by this. That someone can actually sit down, with a pen and a blank card and envelope and write...in your own handwriting mind you.....a couple of sentences to another human being. It does not involve a keyboard, an e mail address or a data plan. It's olden days stuff. I actually had someone ask, “What do you do? Mail it?” It's a damned shame. It's a shame that these guys are missing out. I get calls from these clients thanking me for taking the time...(2 minutes) out of my day to think about them. Oh, and they come in and buy another car.

I have all my clients in an e mail database, I have a ton of them on Facebook, and yes it would save a lot of time and postage to just bulk email a big “How have you been” to 400 people at the same time. But, it's just another email. Lost in 50 others they just got. But when someone goes out and opens the mail box and there, nestled among the bills and junk is a bright blue envelope, with their name and address hand written upon it, well, That's special. Someone once said, If you can count your friends on both hands, you can count your REAL friends on just one hand, and out of those 5, maybe two are true friends. Be careful who you share your thoughts, loves, fears and food pictures with. All of it will be in cyber space, uh, FOREVER!

                                           ******************************

Hope you got something out of that. I hope to be done with the whole thing sometime this year!

Have a Great Day!

I Think (Part 3)

I THINK:

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

Politicians and diapers should be both be changed regularly...all for the same reason

Light travels faster than sound.  That is why some people seem bright until they open their mouth

The shinbone's purpose is to find furniture in the dark

God mus LOVE stupid people, or he wouldn't have made so many

Some people say 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em'  I say ' If you can't beat 'em, beat 'em, cause they will be expecting you to join them and you have the element of surprise....'

War does not determine who is right, only who is left

We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control

Laugh at your problems....everyone else does

I did not fight my way to the top of the food chain to eat tofu

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but a whole box can't start a campfire.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

Have a great day

One Mouth and Two Ears

I have heard it said many times that we are given one mouth and two ears for a reason. If we listen twice as much as we talk, we might just learn something.  I am more than willing to listen to you, as long as you are willing to listen to me.  Just because you have a point of view, does not give you the right to try to force it down my throat. Speak your truth as you know it. I will listen, but please allow me the same respect, instead of picking and choosing a word or two that might offend you and then start in a tirade about why I need to think the way you do. 

I make my living listening to people. When you sell, if you learn to shut up, your customer will tell you exactly what you need to do to sell them...whatever you are selling....cars, trucks, houses, boats, airplanes or widgets.  If you are planning your next sentence in your brain while they are talking to you, you will never be a good listener.  Quiet your mind and concentrate on what the person is saying...then pause and think about it before you answer.  The pause is very powerful in conversation. I allows you to think about your answer, and makes the other person switch from talking mode to listening mode. 

I am a black belt at interrupting.  I have tried to be more aware of this, because I have learned I hear more when my mouth is not moving. I call it the two way radio method of conversation.  When you have a two way radio, you have to wait until the person on the other end says "over" signaling you that you can talk now. In return he has to do the same.  A lot less gets misunderstood when everyone is listening. 

Maybe next time you are having a conversation, used the "over" method silently to yourself when they are done speaking. Don't interrupt. You will have your chance to talk. 

Have a great day!

Election is over, let's talk FOOD!

Election is over! (YAY) and we have a President Trump.  Cheer if you like, Swear if you're pissed.  Let's talk about Thanksgiving Dinner.

This year, we are doing T-day a week or so earlier with relatives coming to town.  As I am on the low carb / very little sugar diet, Holidays are going to be a bit different for me this year. First off, I have to stay away from the thing I wait all year for. My Martinelli's sparkling Cranberry/Apple juice. LOADED with sugars. 

My inspiration is that I have dropped 23 pounds in about 6 weeks by doing nothing more than cutting out 90% of carbs and sugars.  I DO feel better, and losing the weight has made it easier to RUN away from all those no no foods that tend to make me rounder. 

I still allow myself a little dark chocolate every day and some carbs.  But I have leaned that I do not have to eat the WHOLE loaf of french bread or the entire 1/4 pound chocolate bar.  

So, for Thanksgiving this year it's non hormone fed turkey, cornbread stuffing, (Half a serving for me) Green Beans and a bit of cranberry. Easy on the gravy as it FAT FAT FAT, and and some organic mashed potato (half my usual amount).

To drink, I have gone to Club Soda and lime. Refreshing and bubbly.

Where people get slammed dieting during the holidays, is, of course, candies and cakes and pies and ice cream, and of course alcohol.  (The 5 Holiday food groups).  My weakness being the baked goods. I don't drink, so I don't pour on the sugar there.  (Alcohol turns to sugar the minute it passes your teeth). I have given up doing the score card...you know,  If I don't have this, I can have this...does not work, because you have no willpower.  That is the key. Step away from the table.  Here is my challenge. Today, I weigh 223.7 pounds (from about 246 6 weeks ago). My goal through the holidays is not so much to lose a whole lot more, (That would be nice, but it's a lot of pressure) but to maintain where I am and not gain. I will occasionally end a blog with today's weight. But I will not make blogs here  about what I am eating...what a bore. Join me in the challenge. What the hell? 

Here is something my wife told me that has helped a lot. Your divine beings watching over you take you literally when you say stuff. Being your spiritual guardians, they try to help you. So if you say "I have lost XX pounds on this diet," they will find the weight you lost and give it back to you. Instead, think of it as Releasing the weight instead of losing it.  A simple mind thing, but hey, it works. 

Please become a follower.  Thanks! Have a great day!

I Think (Part 2)

I THINK

What consumes your mind controls your life.

You should stop looking for happiness in the exact place you lost it

It's scary what a smile can hide.

The smarter you get, the less you speak.

The secret of having it all is believing that you already do.

You can still be a good person with a kind heart and still say "no".

You have two ears and one mouth for a reason.

Silence is an answer too.

Falling down is an accident. Staying down is a choice.

When nothing goes right, turn left.

Creativity is intelligence having fun.

Nothing haunts us like what we did NOT say.

The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence. 

Have a Great Day

The biggest word in the English Language

I took a couple of days off. Mostly because of what is happening in the political landscape.  I fear I would be caught in the whirlwind of speculation. 

It seems as though the News Channels don't report the news, really.  If there is a breaking story of course they will report it. A cat stuck in a well, or a police car chase in California.  That's all important breaking news. And of course, anything that has to do with the weather.  

For the most part though, the talking heads spend a lot of time speculating and bringing in experts who further speculate, and of course the top guys who speculate on what the experts just speculated on. A lot of "What Ifs"

IF is the biggest word in the english language. Most things depend on IF.  'If I win the lottery, then....'  or  'If so and so gets his promotion, then I might take his place on the food chain'... 'If my team wins the next three games they might take the championship' 

If you meet the right person, if you make enough money, if you pray for it, if if if if if if............

Seems like you are leaving a lot of stuff to chance. 

Here is a simple affirmation. You CAN change the outcome of a lot of things in YOUR life by just changing the word if to the word when. Call it what you want. Positive thinking, whatever. IT WORKS because it changes your perspective from victim to winner.  From now on, say 'When I win the lottery' or 'when I get that promotion'  The outcome may not be what you expected. Who knows, it might be better.

Have a great day!