A Look At April Fool's Day

When we were kids, we LOVED April 1st. Spent days or weeks coming up with the one prank that would shock, stun, piss off,  or have a reaction of total hilarity.  Sometimes they were not funny.  The guy who jumped off a bridge to scare his girlfriend and realized he miscalculated the length of his bungie cord.  Oops.  It goes back to the old saying of what a Redneck (excuse me, NASCAR American) says before he dies is....."Hey, Hold my beer and watch this"...

Anyway, straight from Wikipedia is a paragraph or two on the origins of April Fools Day...just in case you were wondering. 

The custom of setting aside a day for the playing of harmless pranks upon one's neighbor is recognized everywhere.^{[1][dubious – discuss]} Some precursors of April Fools' Day include the Roman festival of Hilaria.

Bertha R. McDonald, in Harper's Weekly explicated an origin of April Fools' Day, stating that some "authorities gravely back with it to the time of Noah and the ark, and the London Public Advertiser of March 13, 1769, prints the following paragraph concerning this theory: 'The mistake of Noah sending the dove out of the ark before the water had abated, on the first day of April, and to perpetuate the memory of this deliverance it was thought proper, whoever forgot so remarkable a circumstance, to punish them by sending them upon some sleeveless errand similar to that ineffectual message upon which the bird was sent by the patriarch'."^[2]

In Chaucer's Canterbury Tales (1392), the "Nun's Priest's Tale" is set Syn March bigan thritty dayes and two.^[3] Modern scholars believe that there is a copying error in the extant manuscripts and that Chaucer actually wrote, Syn March was gon.^[4] Thus the passage originally meant 32 days after March, i.e. 2 May,^[5] the anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia, which took place in 1381. Readers apparently misunderstood this line to mean "32 March", i.e. April 1.^{[citation needed][6]} In Chaucer's tale, the vain cock Chauntecleer is tricked by a fox.

In 1508, French poet Eloy d'Amerval referred to a poisson d’avril (April fool, literally "Fish of April"), a possible reference to the holiday.^[7] In 1539, Flemish poet Eduard de Dene wrote of a nobleman who sent his servants on foolish errands on April 1.^[5] In 1686, John Aubrey referred to the holiday as "Fooles holy day", the first British reference.^[5] On April 1, 1698, several people were tricked into going to the Tower of London to "see the Lions washed".^[5]

In the Middle Ages, New Year's Day was celebrated on March 25 in most European towns.^[8] In some areas of France, New Year's was a week-long holiday ending on April 1.^[9][10] Some writers suggest that April Fools' originated because those who celebrated on January 1 made fun of those who celebrated on other dates.^[9] The use of January 1 as New Year's Day was common in France by the mid-16th century,^[5] and this date was adopted officially in 1564 by the Edict of Roussillon.

In the Netherlands, the origin of April Fools' Day is often attributed to the Dutch victory at Brielle in 1572, where the Spanish Duke Álvarez de Toledo was defeated. "Op 1 april verloor Alva zijn bril." is a Dutch proverb, which can be translated to: "On the first of April, Alva lost his glasses." In this case, the glasses ("bril" in Dutch) serve as a metaphor for Brielle. This theory, however, provides no explanation for the international celebration of April Fools' Day

AND THESE OF COURSE  (copy and paste)

http://tiphero.com/top-10-worst-april-fools-day-fails-of-all-time/

HAVE A GREAT DAY

I Have had to take a step back

I know it's been a couple of weeks since I have posted.  With all that is going on right now, new President, people happy about it, people not happy about it, people acting like total asses as well as those making their voice heard, using their first amendment rights the right way, I thought I would just sit back and take it all in.  I have been loath to write, because I don't like to get involved in politics in my blog if I can help it.  That being said, let me express my concern with people who take an event like the inauguration of our President, (like him or not) and make it an excuse for senseless violence. We the people have the right to protest. It's a right given by our forefathers. It's a wonderful thing. BUT, if you are going to throw bricks through windows of a business whose only fault is that the building is in firing range, then you have no right to bitch when you are arrested and charged with rioting and vandalism. You should go to jail. Do not pass go! You are a punk.

There is talk of paid protestors, other countries promoting this kind of thing and celebs cheering it all on.  I never thought in my life that I would agree with Michael Moore, but his statement rings true. If you want change, run for office. Start with your school board or City Council. Run for Congress or Senate, because it's not the other guy's responsibility to make the changes that you are passionate enough about to throw bricks through someone's business and drive up the cost of their goods.  If you want change, get off your ass and make your voice heard through the right channels. Calmly and purposefully. Violence leads to fear...fear leads to hate, and hate leads to the dark side of the force.  Peaceful protest will make your thoughts known. All for that! They will bring to the forefront all you are passionate about.  Change starts with you. Raise YOUR head above the crowd. Don't think you can? What makes anyone in office different than you? Maybe THEY decided that they wanted to be the voice in the crowd that was heard.  Love Trump or hate him.  He made his voice heard. He told people what he was passionate about. God bless him for being that person.  

So, these are my thoughts watching the events of the last few days.  I don't choose sides, I am not worried about what MIGHT happen....Only what is today. 

Have a great day!

Remember this when you look at ALL YOUR FRIENDS on Facebook...

I am currently writing a book. I have been working on it for quite a long time, because it's the kind of thing you have to write when the mood hits you, and you have a great thread of thought...much like a blog. It's a chance you take that anyone will be interested in what you have to say.  I enjoy writing, and I hope to someday E publish this book. If one person reads it and it helps them, then it was worth taking the time to do. 

The book is called The Self Help Book For People Who Hate Self Help Books (c)2016..... 

I have read a ton of self help books, some great, some not so...but most have one thing in common. They are written by people that have a lot of letters after their names. All good...not dissing anyone. I am writing mine from just years of observation and experience. I would like to share one of the chapters with you here, just because social media is such a thing now. We are get pulled into the Facebook Rabbit Hole. So here we go. This chapter from the book is called: 

But I Have 4627 Friends on Facebook

**********************************

Okay. Take a DEEP breath. All but about 12 of these people are not your friends. Maybe a few more or less. Go through your "Friends" on Face Book and write down the ones you would trust your kids, Dog or Spouse with. Who can you call as a house sitter if you have to go out of town? Yup. Short list. Multiply all this by the number of friends on Twitter, Voxer, Snap Chat Yadda Yadda Yadda and you still end up with about 12. So why are you sharing you most personal stuff with total strangers? And why do they think you really care about what they eat every 42 minutes? It's really gotten out of hand. Okay, so I am an entertainer. I have a couple of Face Book pages. I think I have a total of about 2500 "Friends" between the two pages. I perform and send invites to everyone. I figure asses in seats means ticket sales. But, at lets say, Christmas Time, if I want to send out a personal greeting to people on my pages, there are only MAYBE 30 people that I feel I know well enough to invade their personal space. And some of them are iffy. Don't let the number of "Friends" you have in cyber space lull you into a false sense of being all that. We are really not that important to anyone but ourselves. We measure our success in terms of likes, shares and comments. We have all done it. We have liked some crap on Facebook that we didn't spend more than a 10^th of a second looking at because the person is our “Friend” and we want all his “Friends” to see that I am his “Friend”...What a crock. In the great scheme of things, it's meaningless. There is no personal contact. It's an illusion that we have all these friends that we “Connect” with when we sitting at home in our underwear at 2 AM looking at our Facebook page because we have forgotten how to really communicate.

When something goes wrong and we put it on Facebook or instagram or Twitter, whatever your social media of choice, we get responses of condolence, prayers, advise, whatever from all these people we don't know. But how many of them are responding because they are really praying for you, and how many are just doing it because you had 231 other people do it and they want to feel like they are part of the collective conscience. That's all good and well if they actually say a prayer for you. How many times have YOU said someone was in your prayers and never thought about them again??

As a sales person, I sit and hand write 5 to 10 cards a day to clients that have bought cars from me. People I work with are astounded by this. That someone can actually sit down, with a pen and a blank card and envelope and write...in your own handwriting mind you.....a couple of sentences to another human being. It does not involve a keyboard, an e mail address or a data plan. It's olden days stuff. I actually had someone ask, “What do you do? Mail it?” It's a damned shame. It's a shame that these guys are missing out. I get calls from these clients thanking me for taking the time...(2 minutes) out of my day to think about them. Oh, and they come in and buy another car.

I have all my clients in an e mail database, I have a ton of them on Facebook, and yes it would save a lot of time and postage to just bulk email a big “How have you been” to 400 people at the same time. But, it's just another email. Lost in 50 others they just got. But when someone goes out and opens the mail box and there, nestled among the bills and junk is a bright blue envelope, with their name and address hand written upon it, well, That's special. Someone once said, If you can count your friends on both hands, you can count your REAL friends on just one hand, and out of those 5, maybe two are true friends. Be careful who you share your thoughts, loves, fears and food pictures with. All of it will be in cyber space, uh, FOREVER!

                                           ******************************

Hope you got something out of that. I hope to be done with the whole thing sometime this year!

Have a Great Day!

I Think (Part 3)

I THINK:

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

Politicians and diapers should be both be changed regularly...all for the same reason

Light travels faster than sound.  That is why some people seem bright until they open their mouth

The shinbone's purpose is to find furniture in the dark

God mus LOVE stupid people, or he wouldn't have made so many

Some people say 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em'  I say ' If you can't beat 'em, beat 'em, cause they will be expecting you to join them and you have the element of surprise....'

War does not determine who is right, only who is left

We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control

Laugh at your problems....everyone else does

I did not fight my way to the top of the food chain to eat tofu

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but a whole box can't start a campfire.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

Have a great day

BAD DECISIONS MAKE FOR GREAT STORIES

There is a saying...The last words a Redneck says before he dies are "Hey, hold my beer and watch this"....

Have you ever been part of a scenario where you KNOW that it is not going to end well, but you watch it unfold in slow motion just so you can tell the story later?  

As we grow older and mature, we are less Kelsoish (Ref: That 70's show) and use a bit more common sense than we did when we were 18 and knew everything.  We are no longer 10 feet tall and bullet proof.  We have all made bad decisions at some point in our life. Seemed like a good idea at the time, but now? Not so good.  It can be a life long thing like getting married to the wrong person, and not listening to that little voice in your head.  As we grow older, we start to learn that the little voice knows what it is talking about. 

Remember the old days when you used to regale your friends with the "weekend"...I know every one of us has told the story ..."I got hammered, threw up twice in the ficus tree, got into a brawl, left my pants .. I don't know where, and woke up in my car with the cops tapping on the window....................It was a blast, man" Bad decision, great story about jail.  

Many of these decisions we make involve alcohol.  The bad decision elixor. The juice of irresponsibility.  The old "Sorry I trashed your house by driving my car into your living room. I was drunk..." 

I have been sober for 34 years, so I can not use that excuse anymore.  Now I just have to say, "Sorry, I'm just a dumbass I guess..."  

I suppose all our kids and grandkids will all have great stories to tell based of really bad decisions.  It's our rite of passage from know it all youth to I really don't want to know adulthood. 

So today, with all my heart, I ask you to think twice about that bungee jump....

Have a great day!

Election is over, let's talk FOOD!

Election is over! (YAY) and we have a President Trump.  Cheer if you like, Swear if you're pissed.  Let's talk about Thanksgiving Dinner.

This year, we are doing T-day a week or so earlier with relatives coming to town.  As I am on the low carb / very little sugar diet, Holidays are going to be a bit different for me this year. First off, I have to stay away from the thing I wait all year for. My Martinelli's sparkling Cranberry/Apple juice. LOADED with sugars. 

My inspiration is that I have dropped 23 pounds in about 6 weeks by doing nothing more than cutting out 90% of carbs and sugars.  I DO feel better, and losing the weight has made it easier to RUN away from all those no no foods that tend to make me rounder. 

I still allow myself a little dark chocolate every day and some carbs.  But I have leaned that I do not have to eat the WHOLE loaf of french bread or the entire 1/4 pound chocolate bar.  

So, for Thanksgiving this year it's non hormone fed turkey, cornbread stuffing, (Half a serving for me) Green Beans and a bit of cranberry. Easy on the gravy as it FAT FAT FAT, and and some organic mashed potato (half my usual amount).

To drink, I have gone to Club Soda and lime. Refreshing and bubbly.

Where people get slammed dieting during the holidays, is, of course, candies and cakes and pies and ice cream, and of course alcohol.  (The 5 Holiday food groups).  My weakness being the baked goods. I don't drink, so I don't pour on the sugar there.  (Alcohol turns to sugar the minute it passes your teeth). I have given up doing the score card...you know,  If I don't have this, I can have this...does not work, because you have no willpower.  That is the key. Step away from the table.  Here is my challenge. Today, I weigh 223.7 pounds (from about 246 6 weeks ago). My goal through the holidays is not so much to lose a whole lot more, (That would be nice, but it's a lot of pressure) but to maintain where I am and not gain. I will occasionally end a blog with today's weight. But I will not make blogs here  about what I am eating...what a bore. Join me in the challenge. What the hell? 

Here is something my wife told me that has helped a lot. Your divine beings watching over you take you literally when you say stuff. Being your spiritual guardians, they try to help you. So if you say "I have lost XX pounds on this diet," they will find the weight you lost and give it back to you. Instead, think of it as Releasing the weight instead of losing it.  A simple mind thing, but hey, it works. 

Please become a follower.  Thanks! Have a great day!

I Think (Part 2)

I THINK

What consumes your mind controls your life.

You should stop looking for happiness in the exact place you lost it

It's scary what a smile can hide.

The smarter you get, the less you speak.

The secret of having it all is believing that you already do.

You can still be a good person with a kind heart and still say "no".

You have two ears and one mouth for a reason.

Silence is an answer too.

Falling down is an accident. Staying down is a choice.

When nothing goes right, turn left.

Creativity is intelligence having fun.

Nothing haunts us like what we did NOT say.

The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence. 

Have a Great Day

The biggest word in the English Language

I took a couple of days off. Mostly because of what is happening in the political landscape.  I fear I would be caught in the whirlwind of speculation. 

It seems as though the News Channels don't report the news, really.  If there is a breaking story of course they will report it. A cat stuck in a well, or a police car chase in California.  That's all important breaking news. And of course, anything that has to do with the weather.  

For the most part though, the talking heads spend a lot of time speculating and bringing in experts who further speculate, and of course the top guys who speculate on what the experts just speculated on. A lot of "What Ifs"

IF is the biggest word in the english language. Most things depend on IF.  'If I win the lottery, then....'  or  'If so and so gets his promotion, then I might take his place on the food chain'... 'If my team wins the next three games they might take the championship' 

If you meet the right person, if you make enough money, if you pray for it, if if if if if if............

Seems like you are leaving a lot of stuff to chance. 

Here is a simple affirmation. You CAN change the outcome of a lot of things in YOUR life by just changing the word if to the word when. Call it what you want. Positive thinking, whatever. IT WORKS because it changes your perspective from victim to winner.  From now on, say 'When I win the lottery' or 'when I get that promotion'  The outcome may not be what you expected. Who knows, it might be better.

Have a great day!

Would love to hear yours too!

Do you voice text?  You know, when you talk to your phone and it puts it all down...then you don't check it before you hit send and the person on the other end gets something like...

You are in the clam before the storm...

Let your light be a bacon for all...

If you are important, you should look impotent

...with libraries and justice for all

...Let not your fart be troubled...

I have sent all of these... As I have mentioned before, we are all victims of tech.  Share a few zingers with me today, and root for the Cubs to win the World Serious.....

1st world problems (Part 1)

I was at the store the other day, and I heard a customer complaining to the manager that they had run out of her favorite flavor of vitamine enriched, super duper, mineral enhanced, pure reverse osmosis, power, smart God know what else WATER.  And she was PISSED about this.  The manager was polite, and reminded her that there were dozens of different bottled waters on the shelf, and perhaps until they could get her brand in, that she might choose a different flavor.  She came unhinged and told him, (Get ready now) "No, that won't do. That is the only water I can drink."  (UH, it's water...ok?) Now granted. Not all bottled water is created equal, and I am a bit of a water snob. I like Fiji, and Voss.  But you know what? I will drink it all, even from the tap if I am thirsty. And I won't throw a fit.  There are people in the world that would give anything to have clean bottled water, and it does not matter what the label says.  First World Problem.

Oh, here is another first world problem.  I sell cars. Once in a while, I get a parent in buying a first car for their kid.  The only thing the kid needs to do is shut up and drive the car that Mom and Dad are buying for them.  Many of them have a budget that I try to maintain for them.  Some of the objections I get from the kids..."I don't like the color, it looks like a grandma car, it's too old, the stereo sucks, my friend has one of these and I don't want to drive the same car she drives. I want a third row to carry all my friends in..." and my PERSONAL favorite...."I cant drive a car without power windows..." Can't? Holy crap, kid. Take the bus and save your parent's the money.  1st world problem.

Problem getting your hands on the new iphone? (1st world problem)
Your manicurist is on vacation? (1st world problem)

You live in Jamaica and just lost everything to the worst hurricane ever to hit the island? No food, no Water? No doctors?  Well you get it.

3rd world problems affect lives.  1st world problem affect our comfort zone.  They are annoying, they are petty, and most of the time, they are not problems.  Go hang out in Haiti of a village in Africa. Good luck finding your mani-pedi there.

More to come