How Important Is It?

 We all get stressed over all kinds of stuff.  Getting stressed or angry over things that you think affect your life, whether they do or not, is a waste of time and energy. 

It goes back to not letting stuff rent space in your brain. When something gets you to the point of boiling over, or your head exploding, 💥 you have to ask one simple question to put it all in perspective.  How Important is IT?  Trust me, a lot of the stuff that gets you to that point is never as bad as you think it is. 

Perception is important.  If you perceive something to be terrible, or give it the importance to ruin your day or your week, IT WILL.  Asking How Important is It gives the you a chance to rate the problem.

Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 with one being not terribly bothersome  to 10 being  If I don't do something about this someone could get hurt... 

An example of a "1" would be when you get your favorite coffee from take out and they get the order wrong.  Now, you can go in and make an ass out of yourself yelling a screaming, and accomplish nothing,  OR you can ask, How Important is It? Drink it the way it is and go on with your day.  Or, go back in and politely inform them that they got you order wrong. They will take care of it with a smile most of the time, and everyone is a winner. DON'T CALL 911. (Trust me...it happens). 

I used to close my morning radio show with the phrase "Don't sweat the small stuff, It's all small stuff..."  It's true. No matter how insurmountable something seems, there is always an answer. Sometimes the answer may not be the answer YOU had in mind, but there is ALWAYS an answer. That which does not kill me makes me stronger." --Friedrich Nietzsche

Always score stuff on How Important is it?  It puts a lot of things into proper perspective. Any artist will tell you, If the perspective is off, even just a little it throws the whole painting out of whack, The same goes for every day "problems".

The more ZEN you can be about things, the better off you are. Call it self control, internal anger management, or just letting go and letting God. Much of what happens with us is by divine plan. It has nothing to do with religion, the divine plan is what the universe has already put into play.  I does not mean to throw your hands up and just let it happen. The divine always needs help and effort. The divine does not write anything in stone. It is always changing. Like the stock market. Some days are better than others. It's like surfing. Ride the wave. If you fall, another wave will be along.  It's all part of the plan. The eternal now. Stay in the present. 

Check out my book. The Self Help Book for People Who Hate Self Help Books.

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If It Is Renting Too Much Space In Your Brain...Evict It!

 I had a coworker say to me, after a particularly frustrating day in car sales, "Don't let those people rent space in your brain for one more minute." 

I've held on to that over the years and have used that analogy many times. Whether it's coworkers, customers, relatives, or even things posted on Facebook or Twitter. If you take stuff on board and let it rent space in your brain that could be used for other things, you need to evict it!

The media, for all the cool stuff that's out there, is a perfect example of a vehicle that plants things in our mind and then keeps it in front of us. Even if we don't want to obsess over something, the media forces us to by keeping it in front of our face all the time. Whether it's politics, health, covid-19, vaccinations, how horrible things are in general, whatever it may be. We're in a society where forced obsession is the way of things, and it can be very scary. It's very hard to just let all of that go... but it can be done. 

If you can meditate or get inside yourself and center your being to where you can shut out all of the negative influences coming into your mind, you will find it much easier to let go of these things that you obsess about.

One thing you can do, is not watch the news or surf the internet... Facebook, Twitter, all those things where these negative influences come into your brain right before bed.

 The mind has a way, as you know if you've ever suffered from insomnia, of having everything in the world cave in on your brain all at once in the middle of the night. For some reason, that is the ultimate time to worry about shit. I have literally woken up in the middle of the night and thought about stuff to worry about that I would never think about during daylight hours. It's amazing the stuff that your mind can come up with. I try to tell it to stop thinking about it, and of course I start thinking about the fact that I'm not thinking about the thing I don't want to think about. It is, a vicious cycle.

There are many good meditations websites out there. But really all you need to do is find a good piece of meditation music on your music player, start it, close your eyes for 20 minutes and just concentrate on the music or the sounds of nature that are playing. If you find your mind wavering just bring it back to your main thought of "I am meditating nothing else is coming into my brain other than the music or the sounds of nature." There are a lot of guided meditations out there. I use the ones by Deepak Chopra a lot. 

I've heard it said many times that the brain cannot think two thoughts at the same time. If you're anything like me, your brain tries very hard to disprove that theory. Again meditation, zeroing in on one thought, one color in your mind, one sound of nature, will help you to get rid of all of those thoughts that are hammering into your consciousness. 

I heard a speaker in AA once referred to the thoughts in your brain as the committee. The committee will always try to convince you one way or another. Think of it as a bunch of old guys in white powdered wigs sitting across from each other and arguing why something is good and why it is not good. The committee will be the first to tell you why you should do something that's bad for you, and why you shouldn't do something that's good for you. I talk about the committee a lot in my book The self-help book for people who hate self-help books. 

Don't get these confused with voices in your head because that is a clinical diagnosis for a much deeper problem. Every human being has thoughts racing around that we seemingly have no control over. The only thing we can do is try to override those thoughts with other, hopefully better thoughts. 

Again you're not going to achieve this on the first day of rushing into doing a meditation. It will gradually, over several days or weeks, first become a habit, and become easier as you go along because you learn how to focus on the now. Remember that living in the now is the key to serenity and keeping yourself from obsessing over things that are beyond your control.

Please follow these links to my book The Self-Help book for people who hate self-help books. It's available on Amazon and also through nook, iBooks, and several other e-readers by clicking the link below. Have a wonderful day.

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Bumper Sticker Therapy Pt. 1

 

    I spend a lot of time in the car and see a lot of bumper stickers. Some clever, some funny, some just stupid, but many of them provoke thought.

    In the movie 28 Days, Sandra Bullock plays a woman in Rehab who really does not want to be there. At one point she is meeting with her counselor, and he gives her some advise. (It was a slogan for AA) and she asked him to quit talking like a bumper sticker. There are many "bumper sticker" slogans in AA, and they all go deeper than the words. One Day At A Time, Easy Does It, Live and Let Live, Let Go And Let God just to quote a few. To someone in the program, it is a sign that the person in the car, or someone in that family is in a 12 step program. When you wave at them at the next red light, most of the time they know why and will wave back. 

    Here is a story that happened to me many years ago. I had been in AA for about a year and a half, and was on a road trip to find a radio job as a morning DJ. My journey took me to Phoenix, Arizona.  Now, in the early 80s Phoenix was a city easy to get lost in. It was about 110 degrees, my interview did not go as I had hoped, and I could not for the life of me find my way out of town. I was sitting at a red light and the guy behind me tooted his horn. My initial reaction was to flip him off because the light was red. My other thoughts were to find a bar close by and re-examine my sobriety.  The light turned green and off I shot. At the next light, the car behind pulled up beside me. He tooted his horn and rolled the passenger window down. I was about as pissed as I could be, and about to lose control on him when he said, "Hey, I saw your bumper sticker (ONE DAY AT A TIME) and see you are from out of state. I'm going to a meeting two blocks from here...you want to come along?" 

    I did, and he and I remained friends until his death 16 years later. 

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     ONE DAY AT A TIME:  Means just that. We take every day as it comes. We quit worrying about yesterday and tomorrow. Today, right now is all that matters. We can't undo what happened 10 seconds ago or what will happen 10 seconds from now. Focus on what you can do in the present NOW.  

    EASY DOES IT:  Another 12 step piece of advise. To ME it means don't over complicate things.  As human beings being human, many of us can escalate the simplest thing into an absolute pile of crap.  It can be the interpretation of something someone says or texts to you, a post on Facebook, a Tweet, whatever.  Take a breath. Easy Does it, Mate. Even if something WAS said in hate or anger, rise above it and wipe it off. It's ego reacting to these things. If you are real and true to yourself, nothing like that should affect you to the point of lashing out. Another saying is AA is probably the one I live by the most. WHAT YOU THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS. Pretty self-explanatory.

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Some that are NOT in the 12 step programs include Shit Happens...Yes, as a matter of fact it does, but it's all the way you look at it.  In my book The Self Help Book for People Who Hate Self Help Books I tell the story of the bird flying south long after all his friends left. While flying over Wyoming, it got very cold and the bird fell from the sky, frozen and unable to move.  A cow walked by and pooped on him. The warmth of the poop allowed the bird to thaw and be began to flutter about. The barn cat saw him fluttering and grabbed him and ate him. The moral being, those who shit on you may not be the enemy, and those who pull you out of shit may not be your friend. 

HAVE A NICE DAY: I really don't like that one much. It's a bit bossy for my liking. Is it HAVE a nice day? Have a NICE day or Have a nice DAY? Only one day?  Have a NICE day? How about if I want to have a phenomenal day?  Quit telling me what to do!!  (OK...Easy Does IT)..

ANYTHING POLITICAL!! NO NO NO. You are asking for arguments and keyed cars. 

And WHO THE HELL DOES THIS??

OH well. We all have our ways of expressing ourselves. (Live and Let Live) Some of us Blog, and some stick bumper-stickers on every inch of rear real-estate of their vehicles. 

SO, as you drive, and see a thought provoking bumper sticker, take a minute and think about what it means to YOU in your mind. 

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GOD BLESS and Remember, Inhale, Exhale, Repeat as Necessary!

Sometimes You are just at a loss...What to do, What to do?

We start everything with good intentions.  We go to the gym every other day for a month, then by month three we are going only when we feel guilty about not going.  We give up bad eating for a month until we lose that 5 pounds and then it's back to the Snickkerdoodles and Lattes. 

It's the same with a blog. You go into it and say, I will write every day or every other day. Something deep and meaningful.  But alas, it is not that easy... especially when you see so much crap out there, and you try to avoid being part of that big old river of crap.  That is why I felt I needed to write something today.  The problem being, I don't  really have anything to touch upon. I don't want to get involved in writing about politics, because it does not matter what side you are on, whatever you express is going to draw negative energy from one side or another. You can't win. So I chose to keep that energy out of my life. 

I don't talk religion, because that melting pot is dangerous ground as well. You get labeled as racist, which makes no sense at all, because religion is not race. 

You can't talk about crime because again, even if the facts point to a certain race or gender, you are racist. 

You can't talk about lifestyle (or life choice / gender identity) because then you are labeled "something or other phobic." 

Personally I don't care if you agree with anything I ever say or not. You are entitled to your thoughts as I should be to mine.  But, If one expresses an opinion that is different from yours, blasting a blogger with hate comments serves no purpose. Instead of spewing hate in one line comments, why not start a blog of your own and spell out your concerns. Ahhh, the problem there is you don't want to get the hate comments either. It's a vicious circle which is why I don't write too much anymore.  

Granted, I don't get a lot of hate comments, because I try to keep my blog's topics along the lines of interesting stuff rather than op-eds. 

I draw my observations on reading other people's blogs and seeing some of the comments.  It's terrible and disrespectful. I am sure if some of these people met these bloggers face to face that they would not dare to actually say some of the things they say in the anonymous world of the internet. 

So, I suppose I will limit this blog to Music industry advise, and the occasional life experience.   (Oh, and since I sell Kia, I will answer any questions you have about these wonderful vehicles).

A revamp is in order, and I am going to take a little time to figure this out. 

In the meantime. Be nice. 

Have a great day!

Be happy in your perfect imperfection.

"No one is perfect".  How many times have we heard this or even used it as an excuse for lack of knowledge or experience?  

The whole perfection thing is a lot of pressure. We are raised to be the best we can be. That is WAYYYY different than being perfect.

You don't have to be perfect. Perfection is a illusion. It's unattainable. It's a unicorn.  Great to imagine, but in real life, it's still a horse with a horn glued to its head.  

However, there is a way, somewhat Taoist to look at this. If you have have imperfections, and those imperfections make up the person you are, then it would only fit that you are perfect in your imperfection. You are the perfect you. 

We are hit from all sides with media and peer pressure to look a certain way, or dress with a certain style, or have a perfect hair style yadda yadda yadda.....It tends to make one very self conscious about one's self.  You hear the horror stories every day. Young kids turning to drugs, self mutilation, depression, isolationism, suicide...all for what? Because they don't fit in with the latest trend. 

True, some people are genetically predisposed to "good looks" or "athleticism" or brilliance...and some are not as attractive, or strong or smart.  Nature will always balance. Yes, it has been proven that mates tend to gravitate toward the strongest of the herd. Or the prettiest..(example Bird of Paradise). In nature, this is for survival of the species. Humans do not have that problem. We get together, hang out, have sex with each other and boom....on goes the species. And yes, sometime alcohol is involved that makes you pair up with someone that for whatever reason you would not normally pair up with. 

Point is, there is someone for everyone. What I find unattractive in someone, the next person with see as the one they have been looking for all their life...perfect in their imperfections.  A lot of "imperfection" has to do with self image.  We all can do things to make changes in what we see as faults in ourselves. All good. Make those changes.  Embrace those changes. But, be sure you are doing it for the right reason. You can not be beautiful to others until you are beautiful to yourself.  You can only love others when you love yourself first.  Embrace your imperfections and love them. Life is a wonderful thing once you  realize that you don't have to be a clone on the model on TV who is pushing the latest "make yourself perfect" product.  Just be the best you that you can be.  

Have an "imperfect" day!