The circus is in town....

So. Let the circus begin.  You gotta love Vegas. I love it. I live here.  I have been lobbing in on the news and it's amazing. Every heavy hitter from every news organization in the world has descended on the famous Las Vegas Strip. (Glad I don't have to be anywhere NEAR the strip today) It's funny to watch the news casters going crazy.."VEGAS BABY!!!"  you didn't hear anyone going "LONG ISLAND BABY!!"   

The debate itself is at the Thomas and Mack arena at UNLV. The same place that holds the PBA bull riding championship and The PRCA National Rodeo Finals.  So, it's fitting to have the debate at this venue since there is a long tradition of Bulldung being thrown around there.

Actually, in true Vegas style, they should have staged it at the MGM grand area, and put them in a Boxing ring.  12 rounds. DING!

Congratulations to Las Vegas for hosting the most important debate of the year.  Not bad for a town that was nothing more than a dot on the map in the desert 100 years ago. A hideout for outlaws on the trail.  Wait a minute, how appropriate.

Let the circus begin.....

An Absence of Yard Signs

I think this is the first time I have ever seen a election year where there is an obvious absence of yard signage. 

It MIGHT have something to do with HOA regulations, but even in the places where there are dozens of banners for state and county reps, there is an absence of Presidential signs.  

I suppose that people are keeping their choices to themselves fearing some kind of backlash from people who are on the other side. This election year is so volatile and passionate that both sides are at a breaking point.  People are afraid to say who they support unless they are just another face at a rally. Surrounded by like minded people.  

There is also a lack of bumper stickers. Hell, I still see Obama / Biden or Romney stickers on cars even now. (I even saw one for "W" a while back) But a lack of stickers cheering on either of the candidates now.  It is by far the weirdest election year I have EVER seen. 

It will be interesting to see how all this pans out. I, too am not going to reveal my preference, as I (as promised) don't want this to be a political blog.  May the candidate you are rooting silently for do well.    Cheers.

STOP CLOWNING AROUND!

When I was a small kid, I LIVED for the Bozo the Clown show.  Bozo was cool and happy and educational, and had Georgio  Tsoukalos hair WAY before it was cool.  Bozo ROCKED!  There were clowns at birthday parties, at the circus, (though that's when I started to get a little freaked out by them. How could all those guys fit in a mini cooper?  Then, of course, the Rodeo Clowns (Pol. Correct term is now Bull fighter) at the rodeo. (Not pronounced ro-day-oh). 

Now, all of a sudden there are creepy clowns everywhere, and they are scaring the shit out of people.  My deep creepiness with clowns started when I read IT by Stephen King.  I can only think these are all King fans touting the new movie. But, hey, If you are scaring the crap out of people by dressing up as a clown, no one is going to go to the movie.  Why would they when you are giving it to them live. And by the way, Someone in large shoes is going to get shot. No really.  It's all fun and games until you scare the crap out of the wrong second amendment card carrier.  And of course, if and when that happens, it won't be the clown's fault.  I mean, who would shoot Bozo?

Now,  Target is removing clown masks from the Halloween line up.  (I will resist the urge to insert any politically driven replacement suggestions). Bummer. I guess we will have to go back to JUST PAINTING OUR FACES LIKE WE DID WHEN I WAS A KID.

I did an interview with the original Bozo the Clown, Bob Bell, many years ago when I was a radio show host.  Very pleasant and not scary at all. A little creepy when he came to the station in full make up. It's RADIO..... Aside from that, I felt like a kid again with my hero, Bozo the Clown.

Yeah, But I call people on it?

I got an e mail this morning from my wireless carrier, informing me that I am eligible for a free upgrade on my equipment.  (meaning of course my smart phone).  So, without hesitation, I signed into my account and started looking around.

First of all, no transaction for new equipment is free.  There are taxes to be paid, balances to settle, CEO's that need new cars...whatever.

So, I started looking at what I can get for my "free" upgrade.  It was amazing. First off, I can get a bigger screen with new tech that will keep it from breaking should it slide off the dash and out the window at 60 MPH.  For an additional 60 bucks, there's an Otter Box, which is like a tactical flack jacket for your device...a bullet proof vest if you will.

I can get a 16 MP camera which is mounted front and back for those gallery quality photos of food to post on Facebook, and of course, those ever important selfies, because all my friends are too busy taking pictures of themselves to take a minute and snap one of me.

Oh, and the video with clear pan technology, anti shake. Just in case you want to do your own version of Lord of The Rings with your phone.  There is a full function video editing app as well.

Appointment book, note pad and three microphones for recording surround sound on your device.  Built in health tracking system that keeps you up to date on how many steps you have taken, how many calories you have consumed, and keeps track of heart rate and stress.

Your device ALWAYS knows where you are, and will even send you a message about what is on sale at the store you happen to be in. Plus, it will update your Facebook letting everyone know where you are  too, just in case you told them you were cancelling that museum trip with them for an emergency root canal. No need for Navigation in your car, there is an app for that.  My new device will link to my car, so I can talk legally while I am driving.

I can Skype and send texts to several people at a time all at once. It has a stylus so I can write on my screen, and has a super quick processor for all the games I want to play. Be it Candy Crush or some multi player game with other who have the same devices.

I will be alerted to every news story known to man, sports, stocks and weather.

The battery will last all day into late night.  (Except for the optional exploding in your pocket model)..

Oh, and by the way it WILL make and receive phone calls as long as you have enough bars.

I remember the days when my phone hung on the kitchen wall and I had to wait until 7 PM to call anyone long distance. I had a camera that took film, and a TV to watch stuff on and hook my Atari up to to play Pong.

Gotta go, My order is processing.

The Eskimo

So, A guy walks into a bar in Anchorage, Alaska.  He sits down and orders a Beer.  To his right is a sad looking man drowning his sorrows.  To his left is a preacher. (Don't ask me why there is a preacher sitting at the bar...just roll with it). He chuckles a bit and says to the preacher, "I don't believe in your God."  Unfazed, the preacher smiles and asks why?

The guy tell him a story...

"I was flying across the Tundra in a small plane, and we had to force a landing in the middle of nowhere. The pilot was ejected and died.  I was stuck in the middle of a vast land. It was at least 4 or 5 day walk to anywhere that I knew of, and I had no food or water after using up whatever snacks and stuff there was on the plane. After sitting there for 2 days I figured I would pray to God to rescue me.  I walked all day praying and praying, but nothing. No answer to my prayer...So I am convinced that your God does not exist."

The preacher smiled a bit, and said, "Surely you must believe. You are here, and alive and able to tell me this story."

The man scoffed a bit and said, "Naw, out of nowhere some Eskimo showed up and rescued me."

Never overlook your eskimos.  They are everywhere.  You just have to be aware of them. And all you have to do is ask. You are surrounded by beings of light. It's up to you to recognize them.

1st world problems (Part 1)

I was at the store the other day, and I heard a customer complaining to the manager that they had run out of her favorite flavor of vitamine enriched, super duper, mineral enhanced, pure reverse osmosis, power, smart God know what else WATER.  And she was PISSED about this.  The manager was polite, and reminded her that there were dozens of different bottled waters on the shelf, and perhaps until they could get her brand in, that she might choose a different flavor.  She came unhinged and told him, (Get ready now) "No, that won't do. That is the only water I can drink."  (UH, it's water...ok?) Now granted. Not all bottled water is created equal, and I am a bit of a water snob. I like Fiji, and Voss.  But you know what? I will drink it all, even from the tap if I am thirsty. And I won't throw a fit.  There are people in the world that would give anything to have clean bottled water, and it does not matter what the label says.  First World Problem.

Oh, here is another first world problem.  I sell cars. Once in a while, I get a parent in buying a first car for their kid.  The only thing the kid needs to do is shut up and drive the car that Mom and Dad are buying for them.  Many of them have a budget that I try to maintain for them.  Some of the objections I get from the kids..."I don't like the color, it looks like a grandma car, it's too old, the stereo sucks, my friend has one of these and I don't want to drive the same car she drives. I want a third row to carry all my friends in..." and my PERSONAL favorite...."I cant drive a car without power windows..." Can't? Holy crap, kid. Take the bus and save your parent's the money.  1st world problem.

Problem getting your hands on the new iphone? (1st world problem)
Your manicurist is on vacation? (1st world problem)

You live in Jamaica and just lost everything to the worst hurricane ever to hit the island? No food, no Water? No doctors?  Well you get it.

3rd world problems affect lives.  1st world problem affect our comfort zone.  They are annoying, they are petty, and most of the time, they are not problems.  Go hang out in Haiti of a village in Africa. Good luck finding your mani-pedi there.

More to come

I Think.......

I Think

There are 2 types of people in the world.  Those who participate, and those who watch.

Drivers who don't use turn signals should be banished forever in a land with nothing but Roundabouts. (look it up)

Stores should not be allowed to sell Christmas stuff until Halloween is over.  

If you can't control your kids in a restaurant that does not have a "kids menu" ... you should get them a happy meal and eat in the car. 

Cats know what we are thinking.....ALWAYS.

If you have a 420 credit score, you should not make that the car salesman's fault. 

There are two seasons in most parts of the county...Winter and Road Construction. 

If you commit to it, DO IT.

Anything that has more legs than me, or no legs and slithers should be avoided at any cost.

Everything in the universe is Energy.

Karma is a Bitch.

Aliens have not revealed themselves on earth because they know the first thing we will do is try to get them to vote.

If you have extra parts after disassembling and reassembling any machine, that you should put them in a drawer. Eventually you will figure out what they are for. Yup, give it time. 

A watched pot never boils, but if you drop your watch in boiling water, it's probably a goner. 

The shortest distance between 2 points is a straight line, unless you have to climb several mountain ranges, in which case, stay home.

Your computer will have an issue when you are on a deadline.

Gun control means you know what you are shooting at.

If you have 4000 friends on facebook, you should know the name of the person who lives next door to you. 

Money is the most renewable resource. 

Ask for it every day and the universe will provide. 

Superman can whip Batman's Butt. 

Every time you touch your smart phone screen, it sucks 1 brain cell out of your head.

If you are going to text me more than 50 words, just call.

Have a wonderful day!