Yeah, But I call people on it?

I got an e mail this morning from my wireless carrier, informing me that I am eligible for a free upgrade on my equipment.  (meaning of course my smart phone).  So, without hesitation, I signed into my account and started looking around.

First of all, no transaction for new equipment is free.  There are taxes to be paid, balances to settle, CEO's that need new cars...whatever.

So, I started looking at what I can get for my "free" upgrade.  It was amazing. First off, I can get a bigger screen with new tech that will keep it from breaking should it slide off the dash and out the window at 60 MPH.  For an additional 60 bucks, there's an Otter Box, which is like a tactical flack jacket for your device...a bullet proof vest if you will.

I can get a 16 MP camera which is mounted front and back for those gallery quality photos of food to post on Facebook, and of course, those ever important selfies, because all my friends are too busy taking pictures of themselves to take a minute and snap one of me.

Oh, and the video with clear pan technology, anti shake. Just in case you want to do your own version of Lord of The Rings with your phone.  There is a full function video editing app as well.

Appointment book, note pad and three microphones for recording surround sound on your device.  Built in health tracking system that keeps you up to date on how many steps you have taken, how many calories you have consumed, and keeps track of heart rate and stress.

Your device ALWAYS knows where you are, and will even send you a message about what is on sale at the store you happen to be in. Plus, it will update your Facebook letting everyone know where you are  too, just in case you told them you were cancelling that museum trip with them for an emergency root canal. No need for Navigation in your car, there is an app for that.  My new device will link to my car, so I can talk legally while I am driving.

I can Skype and send texts to several people at a time all at once. It has a stylus so I can write on my screen, and has a super quick processor for all the games I want to play. Be it Candy Crush or some multi player game with other who have the same devices.

I will be alerted to every news story known to man, sports, stocks and weather.

The battery will last all day into late night.  (Except for the optional exploding in your pocket model)..

Oh, and by the way it WILL make and receive phone calls as long as you have enough bars.

I remember the days when my phone hung on the kitchen wall and I had to wait until 7 PM to call anyone long distance. I had a camera that took film, and a TV to watch stuff on and hook my Atari up to to play Pong.

Gotta go, My order is processing.