Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Be happy in your perfect imperfection.

"No one is perfect".  How many times have we heard this or even used it as an excuse for lack of knowledge or experience?  

The whole perfection thing is a lot of pressure. We are raised to be the best we can be. That is WAYYYY different than being perfect.

You don't have to be perfect. Perfection is a illusion. It's unattainable. It's a unicorn.  Great to imagine, but in real life, it's still a horse with a horn glued to its head.  

However, there is a way, somewhat Taoist to look at this. If you have have imperfections, and those imperfections make up the person you are, then it would only fit that you are perfect in your imperfection. You are the perfect you. 

We are hit from all sides with media and peer pressure to look a certain way, or dress with a certain style, or have a perfect hair style yadda yadda yadda.....It tends to make one very self conscious about one's self.  You hear the horror stories every day. Young kids turning to drugs, self mutilation, depression, isolationism, suicide...all for what? Because they don't fit in with the latest trend. 

True, some people are genetically predisposed to "good looks" or "athleticism" or brilliance...and some are not as attractive, or strong or smart.  Nature will always balance. Yes, it has been proven that mates tend to gravitate toward the strongest of the herd. Or the prettiest..(example Bird of Paradise). In nature, this is for survival of the species. Humans do not have that problem. We get together, hang out, have sex with each other and boom....on goes the species. And yes, sometime alcohol is involved that makes you pair up with someone that for whatever reason you would not normally pair up with. 

Point is, there is someone for everyone. What I find unattractive in someone, the next person with see as the one they have been looking for all their life...perfect in their imperfections.  A lot of "imperfection" has to do with self image.  We all can do things to make changes in what we see as faults in ourselves. All good. Make those changes.  Embrace those changes. But, be sure you are doing it for the right reason. You can not be beautiful to others until you are beautiful to yourself.  You can only love others when you love yourself first.  Embrace your imperfections and love them. Life is a wonderful thing once you  realize that you don't have to be a clone on the model on TV who is pushing the latest "make yourself perfect" product.  Just be the best you that you can be.  

Have an "imperfect" day!

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

No B Side

As an observer of all things going on around me, it appears that the media has lost the fact there there is a B side to all that is going on in the world right now. 

Let me clarify. "B Side" is a music industry term that originates from when record labels release 45s. One song on each side. and A side (Which was supposed to be the hit song) and a B side which featured another song on the album that was good but not being considered as an A side single.  So, you played the A side song and the B side may NEVER get heard. 

Funny thing, though, sometimes people want to know what's on the B side. And occasionally, a B side song is a hit.  Maybe a DJ at a radio station played it by mistake. It's happened many time in the course of music history. Google "B SIDE HITS" and you will be surprised at what songs charted that were never supposed to be hits.  
Now, in the world of CDs and MP3, and streaming services, the B side is not a factor anymore and we now hear the Chart Cut and it's all we ever hear. (Listen to XM radio and tell me what the repeat rotation is) I was a radio DJ for many years. My luck was that they never made me follow the national rotation, and I was allowed to play what I wanted.  So, I mixed it up a lot and played songs that you didn't hear a lot, but everyone remembered. The songs you don't hear anymore."

I have a point to all this. Really.  It has to do with the news media. 

We are in a time of great division. It is not the first time, and it will not be the last time.  I don't choose sides, I observe what I perceive to be only A Side information.  All the media seems to thrive on is the anger and the negative energy that is spewed forth by people who don't or won't accept the current world and political situation. 
You see riots, and angry mobs, celebs who think they have the voice and ear of the people. And it's only so because the news media shoves it into your face and surrounds you with this hate and anger. All for ratings.  Bear with me. If  you are watching the news and there is rioting in the streets, and cars being set on fire, and you switch to the other news channel and see some warm and fuzzy story about happy people doing good things, do you shake your head and go back to the riots and anger because it's "more interesting?"  It's like listening to the first 10 seconds of a B side single and deciding that the A side song is better because that's what the record company has chosen to give you. It's what the networks chose to broadcast because they know that you will watch. 

I want to see the B side to all this hate and discontent. Show me the good. There is good in everything. It's the Yin and the Yang. You can not have one without the other.  Problem is, we are only looking at the Yang. We need a little more Yin I think.

I used to counsel teens. At the beginning of a group session, which I KNEW was going to be all about bitching about their parents and their life, as teens are prone to, I would go around the room and tell them to give me a HAPPY before we started. It had to be thought out . Not "I'm happy to be here...or I'm happy the 49ers won the Superbowl. (It was a long time ago) It had to be a genuine, happy feeling. It was hard for them. They were so programmed to be negative that it was beyond them to think that they had anything at all going for them. But.. they managed in the end to come up with something thought provoking. 

We have a higher power of some sort watching over us. I believe that.  Sometimes we just need to turn off the constant A side and flip to the B side and see what is there. It might be a better song. 

Have a great day.